Lately, I’m enjoying entertaining myself contemplating if I really want what I think I want. I think I know about all the things that I want, and I enjoy time meditating as if what I want is there. You know, the first step in the Law of Attraction, right before taking conscious action towards these dreams.

But do I really want what I think I want?

Take the example of attracting a romantic partner. Around me, I have quite a bunch of amazing, single, female friends. We all want a similar thing: a conscious man, adventurous, tantricly experienced, amazing lover, hot body, and maybe some nicely placed tattoos and piercings. A man who is beyond the nice guy pitfalls, who has a clear purpose in life, and makes his own money.

But are we willing to receive all that comes with such a man? Most probably a man like this is traveling a fair chunk of his time, puts his life mission above you or the relationship, and potentially has several partners and lovers spread over the planet.

(Yes, lots of generalizations and assumptions made here, but may the point be clear.)

Or the dream of running a business. Wanting to become location independent, monetize your heart’s passion, travel over the world, decide when you work and when you take a day off.

But do you then also want the administration, the years of work to build community and leverage, the insecurity of whether you’ll make enough money every week, and while traveling – not having a home and all your belongings in a bag (read: wearing the same clothes over and over again)?

I’m starting to like figuring out what I want and need the other way around. Starting with the things and values most important to me now, and from that space imagining how (and who) that would look like. It feels like a way more realistic way of dreaming with a greater capacity to make a reality.