You always have a right to set boundaries. Always.
I notice how easy I still step into a pattern of believing I have no right to set boundaries because I believe I’m in no position to have boundaries.
For example when I’m someone’s lover, besides a primary partner. I believe I can’t have boundaries towards him (or her) because that’s only between them.
Or when I’m with my children, as I want to hear their voice too (and preferably make everyone happy, which is impossible I found out through experience over the last decade) because I believe I should always be available.
Or when I’m not in a relationship with someone anymore, as we’re now ‘uncoupled’ and there’s nothing I have to say about them.
Or the big spiritual trap, where I believe I should be able to face all my fears, all the time, and even push a little harder as that’s where liberation is supposed to be (it’s not, this is overstretching the nervous system and surviving or even retraumatizing yourself).
We might indeed never have anything to say about other human beings (okay, maybe my underaged children). There’s no point in trying to control them.
But we are allowed – even responsible – for our own experience.
We ALWAYS have a right to design that experience into what feels matching to our desires, capacities, and circumstances.
We NEVER have to push ourselves beyond that sweet spot where excitement and butterflies in your belly meet.
It’s YOUR body. YOUR life. YOUR experience.
Of course, you get to have boundaries. 100% of the time.
P.s. Do you face challenges or insecurities when it comes to knowing and honouring your boundaries and/or desires? Consider booking an individual session/trajectory with me (online or face to face), to become an expert of this!
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