“Do You Still Feel Insecure and Bad about Yourself?”

“When is the last time you were insecure or thought bad about yourself?” People ask me this question often. And it seems they expect an answer defining a moment way back in the past. But it’s very much in the present. Every day there are moments in which I think I’m a fraud. I know nothing. There’s nothing of value I have to bring to the world. That I’m impossible to love and not sexy at all. And I don’t think it will ever fully go. And it’s okay. I think we only get better at dealing with these voices. Instead of suppressing them, we get to know them and what it is they’re trying to protect us from. There…

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I am Love

Whatever you do Whoever you are There will be implications. As you embrace more of your own juiciness, power, explicitness, and beauty – the stronger the responses will be. The cheering ánd the judging. The projections will increase exponentially. When you look grumpy, the world understands. When you look happy, the world thinks you’re crazy. (so darn spot on, Eugene) The more you create from the heart and belly, The more people will resonate and cheer Or shunt. Or ‘borrow’ your stuff more often without consent and credits than with. It’s probably how the world always worked And will continue working. Breathing through it all. Witnessing my inner parts feeling triggered, relax, wanting to be loved and seen for what I…

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Waking Up Next To A Gorgeous Woman

Rex Whistler - A Nude Study of Lady Caroline

This morning I woke up next to a gorgeous woman. Her back was turned to me, and she was naked. As she had pushed the blankets off of herself, I could look at the curves of her hips, as the rays of sun that sneaked in between the dark blue curtains caressed her, lighting up the feather-like tiny hairs on her body. I felt my heart open wide, my belly glow with loving feelings and a desire to touch her. To let my fingers glide along that curve. To kiss her neck. Or to spoon her again as we did last night. I was quite sure she would love all that, as she was slowly waking up to the tunes…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Where do I Base My Boundaries On?

David & Wilrieke

In any human dynamic, certain patterns will come up. And those patterns will influence how you feel and how you act. Where do you base your boundaries and desires upon? And what to do when yours are different than those of your partner? Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Feeling Safe

Feeling safe

Being real about relating: sharing openly about my relationship with David, the patterns, the pitfalls, the victories. We all want to feel safe. But do you actually know when you feel safe? And when there are many voices/characters in your head: who’s right? What’s true? Please follow and like us:

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(Video) I don’t always like my open relationship. And why am I more afraid than my partner?

David and I have an open relationship. For us, that means we are choosing to be primary partners, like in any ‘normal’ relationship. Besides that, we give each other full freedom to openly explore intimacy with others. I’m one of those persons who doesn’t find this just easy. Sometimes I don’t like being in an open relationship at all, but admitting that to myself feels difficult. And how can it feel that I feel like having different boundaries about a certain thing at the same time? How to deal with the insecurity? And why do some people find open relating more difficult than others (and why is it often so that one partner feels more challenged than the other)? These…

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On Trust and Trusting

On Trust and Trusting

The deepest layer of trust is not about knowing what will happen, how to get what you want, or even about understanding your desire. There’s no use in trying to get it, as trust isn’t about ‘getting it’. Trust is a feeling. A close connection to your inner world and intuition. A clear communication channel to what’s deep inside and beyond you. Trust is alignment to truth. The purpose of your life’s journey. Trust is breathing and opening up, even when you’re afraid or believe that this time it’s all wrong. Trust is letting go of how you think you should get to where you think you should be going. Because you don’t know. The path is in the unfolding…

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Slowing Down

Slowing down

I always tell it to my students and clients: to slow down. Because slowing down means giving time and space to underlying feelings and processes. Emotions and sensations that we usually skip because we’re in our heads, in a hurry, or just somewhere at the desired or undesired end goal. We’re in the future or past, but not present with our precious self – right now. And then when we slow down, we start to feel stuff. Uncomfortable probably. Are we here, yet again? It’s such a temptation to go faster again. To move through this discomfort with a swift pace. We might reach comfy grounds again, but did we shift anything? Learned anything? Let go of anything? Then I…

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Conscious Relationship Design: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

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