Don’t Live In a Box

Those days where I feel unhappy, stuck and trapped, I notice I’ve been putting myself in a box again. It’s a thing. A paradoxical thing. Humans like to put their world into boxes. Other humans, their calendar, their work, their relationship, their sexuality, other connections to other humans… I noticed that when I boxed myself heterosexual I felt weird about feeling attracted to women. Feeling stuck in a worldview where it didn’t make sense to like other than men. But when I discovered that queers make my knees shake, bisexuality felt like a limiting option too. I had exchanged one box for another, and again I felt stuck, trapped and didn’t understand myself. So I stepped out of the sexuality…

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Unlocking Your Potential

Unlocking Your Potential

Two and a half day of a clear schedule. No kids, no sessions, no workshops, but for me in my little refuge to work on creative new ideas I had. A rarity and I was looking forward to it a lot. I made myself a cup of tea, grabbed all my colored pens and a large white sheet of paper, sat down, and nothing happened. Well, some things did happen: my body felt a bit tensed. My shoulders hunched, and my mind was both pushing me start ‘being productive’ as well as trying to find any possible distraction. Automatically I grabbed my phone, as an almost unconscious voice in my head told me my friend might have sent me that…

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Mirrors versus Movie Screens: Do you reflect or project?

Mirrors versus Movie Screens

The people around us are our mirrors: they show us where we are in our stage of personal evolution. It’s something we hear all the time. But I notice that people, me included, tend to use others rather as movie screens onto which we project our reality, instead of looking into the mirror. When someone triggers us It’s easy to see someone as our mirror when that mirror shows us something nice. It can be amazingly uplifting when someone I admire wants to spend time with me. Although it touches upon my insecurity sometimes (‘Why would this person want to spend time with me?’) it is hard to stick to negative thinking too long. I must be nice to be…

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Love addiction: When an (open) relationship becomes an attempt to fill a void

Love addiction: When an (open) relationship becomes an attempt to fill a void

When talking about open relationships, polyamory or non-monogamy in general, a discussion point brought to the table often is that in monogamous relationship two people can go very deep, exploring each other completely, over a longer period of time, and with no distractions. Having multiple relationships, it is easy to spread your attention and keep connections on a shallow level of depth. Indeed, the largest pitfall I encounter having an open relationship is the temptation to avoid facing struggles and fear in the relationship with my partner, and finding support, satisfaction, attention  or whatever it is I desire and don’t get in the relationship elsewhere. But even when you’re not in a relationship, it’s easy to get lost in connecting…

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Men: Why she hates your messages – the brutal truth

Why she hates your messages

This article is based upon my experiences with men contacting me. It’s absolutely generalized. I challenge you read it and to feel what touches you. Do you recognize my experiences? Do you feel triggered or offended? See the next paragraphs as my present to you. I tell you what works for me and the wise, strong, gorgeous women I see around me. Let these paragraphs penetrate you. Is this about you? Keeping violation intact through silence Too many women are silent when they feel offended by men, as well as I’m sure there are men feeling offended by women or other men and keeping their mouths tightly shut. By being silent we keep the vicious circle of hurtful communication and…

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I fucking love food

You heard me. I fucking love food. I did a detox where I ate 500 kcal a day for three weeks and felt much better. Until my food cravings came back worse then before. And then I read this humble article about why detox might not be beneficial for you. I love consciously indulging in life. I love food. I love my body. And somewhere there should be a balance between feeling healthy, being healthy and life’s treats (read: my current fetish for chocolate and peanutbutter). I don’t know what’s best practice. I know there’s a fine line between the masculine, focussed and determined approach (strict lifestyle modifications but also feeling tensed about everything I put into my mouth) and…

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How a binge during my detox made me love myself more

Detox challenge

Confession time. I had a huge binge on chocolate last night. During my detox. Over the last days I felt how little things made me feel like a loser. I was constantly subconsciously shaming myself for feeling hungry, for making my yugh-shakes into something that tasted quite alright with some stevia, cinnamon and cocoa. I was silently judging my cravings for sweets and nuts. Last night I was tired of being so tough towards myself. For 20 days I had been eating nothing but kale and other green veggies. And those proteine shakes. It was enough. So I challenged myself lovingly: ‘If you will go for sweets tonight babe, can you do that without feeling guilty? Can you enjoy it?…

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Your life = your experience (and not the general truth)

It's your experience

When we advice, teach or even preach to others, it’s easy to be convinced of our perspective on things. But don’t forget that everything you share comes from your experience, from how you’ve lived your life. And this may or may not resonate with someone else. Maybe you can have a little part of you be the observer, when someone asks you for advice. An observer that reminds you that all you say is not the general truth, but simply your experience of what does and doesn’t work for you in your life. But, of course, that’s my experience 😉 [youtube=https://youtu.be/YmpLdrBUID8] Please follow and like us:

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Do you take enough care of yourself?

Unlimited self-care

When was the last time you watched a movie during daytime without feeling guilty? When did you cook a delicious meal, just for yourself? When did you take enough me-time, even if it was triple the time you told yourself you needed? It’s so easy to cut back our self-care. But how can we take care of others when we don’t take care of ourslves first? Check my video and discover my today’s not-so-guilty pleasure of self-care 🙂 [youtube=https://youtu.be/aCXx0zWZ440] Please follow and like us:

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Do you let thoughts get in the way of your Life Purpose?

Life Purpose

Yesterday my thoughts tried everything to make me eat the things I don’t want to eat during my detox. There were many, many reasons to eat cheese, chocolate and nuts. I ended up eating a tomato. I woke up this morning with thoughts telling me I was failing this detox. I ate too much, I didn’t exercise enough and my body was just doing what I want it to do. Especially with the things I really want to do, the things alligned with my life purpose, my thoughts try to disctract me. Try to make me do other things. Telling me I’m too tired, not capable, I need to do other things first. I’ll do the things I really want…

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