Why I like Kink and BDSM

Why I like Kink

When I tell people I’m a fan of kink or BDSM, there are usually three possible responses. Many people have no idea what I’m talking about. Others wonder why someone on the path of personal growth would be interested in something abusive and violent as BDSM. And then there are some who understand and are happy to find someone who agrees. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and the many erotic novels that followed in its wake, BDSM – or the SM part of it, has become more mainstream as a flavor in the bedroom. But the picture these stories sketch a very limited, and in my opinion unhealthy, picture of this erotic art form. So what is it that…

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Conscious Relationship Design: Different Ways in Which we Love Each Other (video)

What if you express your love to your partner(s), and they feel attacked or frustrated? We have different ways of expressing love to others, and without realizing this, your attempts to come closer might draw you further away from each other. David and I share about our processes of loving each other and getting to know each other’s love language.   Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Two Women Talking about (Open) Relating #1

Wilrieke & May

My dear friend May Rompas and I love to share with each other about our relationships. And as we do that anyway, we thought you might like to be a fly on the wall and listen to our conversations. Here’s the first talk we share, where we talk about what our relationships look like, and how we deal with feelings of insecurity and fear.   Please follow and like us:

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(Video) What are Safer Spaces, and Why are They Important?

A safer spaces is a consciously designed environment to practice life. It’s a laboratory where you can practice doing things and see what the effect is. It’s not a place to do things right. Workshops might leave you with a high, bit not change your life. Embodied imprints can. Choose your workshops, play parties and other safer spaces wisely. Please follow and like us:

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(Video) Is Tantra Still Safe?

After #metoo and #mentoo and #metoointantra, and now Tantra workshops become more abundant than mushrooms in an autumn forest, what to do and where to go? (Little blurb of WiFi challenges halfway, skip to 3 minutes when it starts to bypass..) Please follow and like us:

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Can I have Slow Sex Please? – Four Important Insights I gained in Tantra

Can I have Slow Sex Please?

There is wine that you buy, just to buy wine. You quickly glance over the bottles and end up with a 5 liter box of cheap Merlot. Nothing wrong with that. The next time you spend even less time, heading for the same Merlot right away. You liked it last time, didn’t you? Sex can be like that Merlot, or like a slowly ripened, full bodied affair. Nothing wrong with a quickie, but there is so much more than the fast-and-easy fix for releasing tension, frustration or just that urge for a moment of sensory high. I like Slow Sex. These are some lessons I learned from practicing Tantra. I like diversity and exploration I like Merlot. But I also…

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Sex as a Path to Personal Growth

London Faerie and Wilrieke Sophia

There are many ways to get to know ourselves better. There are ways that are accepted, ways that are less accepted sand ways that are considered controversial. And maybe sex is the most controversial of them all. The naked truth How does it work then? Why is sex such a great pathway to personal growth? Isn’t it just a matter of lust or a biological urge for reproduction? Sure. There are a lot of pheromones, hormones and thousands of years of evolution involved in our reproductive habits. Sex as a tool to keep a species from extinction. But sex can be a tool for evolution on the base of an individual too. Sex can teach us about our weak spots,…

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“How was your weekend?” What do you tell at the coffee machine?

how was your weekend?

Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to have an office job and meet my colleages on a Monday morning at the coffee machine, and being asked what my weekend was like. What would I answer? What would I not tell? What would I exaggerate? What would I feel insecure about? What would i brag about? Would I say something like: “My weekend was pretty okay. Went to a birthday party, met some friends in the city, had dinner with girlfriends and went to a Christmas market with my family.” Or something like: “My weekend was crazily intense! Dressed up as a panther for a sexy birthday party. Had a sleepover at my lovers’. Went to an eye-gazing experience…

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I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

My partner and I have been in a relationship for eight years now. In the beginning, sex was challenging. I was afraid of showing my naked body. Negative experiences from the past made me afraid to let go of control about the situation. Gradually that changed. My partner told me how beautiful he believed I was – until I started to believe it too. We started to experiment with positions and places, getting to know each other’s bodies well and knowing how to pleasure each other. Sex was still often a race towards an orgasm (preferably both at the same time) and when there were no orgasms, it felt like we failed in a way, but nevertheless we had fun.…

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