In ‘The Husband Swap’, Louisa Leontiades openly and honestly shares her story. She and her husband Gilles form a quad with another couple, Morten and Elena.
Louisa and Gilles started out as a monogamous couple. “I was once like you” she tells us at the beginning of the book. But when she cheats on Gilles with an ex-boyfriend, it all changes. Louisa explains to Gilles that she loves him and wants to stay with him. She also realizes that Gilles would never be able to fulfill everything she wants from a partner. They discover that it’s possible to love more than one person, and decide to try to live polyamourously.
Through internet they get into contact with a couple. Even though they think falling in love with a man and a woman who form a couple would be a one in a billion chance, this is exactly what happens. Louisa falls in love with Morten, and Gilles falls in love with Elena.
With an amazing sense of self awareness, Louisa takes us with her in the rollercoaster ride that follows. It’s definitely her version of the story of a relationship between four people, but she tries to explain all points of view. The ways the four deal with their challenges and the problems they perceive are different. There are moments of great joy and arguments. The title of the book already reveals the outcome of all the dynamics within the quad: the women swap husbands.
‘The Husband Swap’ deals with all the challenges one will face when entering the poly-world. Jealousy, feelings of being left behind, rejection… But also the multiplication of love. Setting rules, redefining rules and letting the rules go again. The dynamics with a quad won’t differ much from dynamics in a triad or even when one partner has an extra lover without your involvement at all.
Louisa writes in a style that is sucking you into the book. She alternates dialogues with analyses, flashbacks to her past and explanations. Even when you’re not interested in polyamory, this book teaches you a lot about relationships between people and the human mind in general.